Things Worth Remembering

At the tender age of 23 the concept of retirement has yet to develop as a sensible goal. However, when all Creoites were solicited to pick up a brochure regarding changes to our RRSP policy I wanted to know what they were doing with my canned prune fund.

I arrived at reception expecting little more than a three fold pamphlet that would uncomfortably stuff in my pant pocket. I was greeted by a glossy inch thick folder exploding with 5 odd pamphlets, a poster, a CD Rom, and a tree’s worth of financial analysis reports.

“Envision Your Retirement” captions a picture of a happy couple far to young to be retired holding hands as they stroll along the shore. In the foreground of the image sits a majestic sand castle glowing with the final rays of the setting sun. Now as I recall, the Bible offers wisdom about building things on sand (Mat 7:26-27). Perhaps they had never read it, maybe they thought nothing of the advice, or possibly they were asleep during that part of the sermon. Regardless, this poor couple had little more than an hour before the sun sets and the tide comes in, leaving them in the dark and homeless for the next 35 years of their lives.

Later that evening, I decided to pop open the fancy Velcro folder and see what my future had in store. Flipping through the pages I found little informative information. The reports were lofty and vague all projecting long term growth -- like anyone would invest in the fund that projected heavy losses. The CD-Rom asked me 4 questions before spitting out fictitious numbers predicting my future wealth of poverty. The only thing of use is the poster which will mysteriously appear in Giesbrecht’s room or in Decker’s kitchen cupboard.

The collection was undoubtedly the pride of the marketing department. They believed whole heartedly in ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’. All the classics were there: smiling couples in Europe with dentures whitened by the transfiguration, the old man lecturing his grandson on how to catch a fish, the grandma reading with the grand-daughter about her recent facelift procedure and the young coffee drinking couple excited about making financial decisions with their golden retriever. Hey, that is all the info I need to pick the right RRSP.

Investing is easy -- the important thing is to diversify. Don’t put it all in the denture fund. Making contributions to the golden retriever, European view and flying a kite funds will help balance your portfolio. And remember, harnessing the power of your dreams, dollar cost averaging will compound your interest growing assets and sheltering you from volatile risk environments.

I haven’t quite figured out where I am heading with this but something about this propaganda is unsettling. This shallow glossy paper shines to glorify the king of Freudian desires, ‘Easy Living’. Preying on our insecurities, Easy lures us in with an oversimplified plan and a snappy catch phrase. Soon all reason agrees with the notion that you live to retire and the quality of your retirement is based on your savings. A seemingly harmless trap amongst many bottomless pits the world has to offer* but, obliviously building life on such a skewed foundation leaves too many people wondering why their pictures won’t hang straight.

I beg you to know that the challenge of investing in your character, family and friendships will play a much larger part in the ‘success’ of life. Bitter people are bitter whether they have money or not. Rich or poor, self-centered individuals will find themselves by themselves. And, you can ask Trump and J-Lo how their money has helped mend marriages and develop strong family bonds.

I spent my Remembrance Day at work by myself doing some mindless testing. This provided me with ample time to reflect on the sacrifices made my Men younger than I. My thoughts boiled down to this. The generation in which a 1/3 is now living in poverty spent their youth investing in us.

Where would we be if they had invested in the white denture fund? -- undoubtedly a question well worth remembering.

Therefore in closing, ‘Won’t you please take me off your list easy living’** I want to envision better things for my life and retirement.

* I had not yet finished this post when I was reminded of a much larger investment pit which Big Easy had dug, the ‘Investment in Me Now Fund’. Sooner or later I will probably rant about it as this post only applies to people who have survived that field of marketing mines.

** Jon Foreman, Beautiful Letdown