Because I'm not locked out, Fox News presents...
So I got back in my house a while ago and since people are still commenting on my last post I figured, I owe a post. Tonight (this morning) I present if "FOX NEWS COVERED MIKES LIFE - we report. you decide."
"GOTCHA "
an investigative report... thud (a metalic thud)
It is little secret that gotcha is the hottest trend of the week among people at Emerge. Its creators dub the slogan "It's a game where you stalk your friends......and shoot them with elastic bands......with as much loving kindness as possible." But what you don't know about rubber bands could hurt you!
Did you know?!? 1 in 3 cows eat elastic bands and they were the number 4 cause of non-fatal injuries not causing serious death in office supply factories in the state of Ohio this week. surprising? Well, Fox news has also learned that many accidents aren't even reported due to their minor severity and we as experts estimate that by the year 2026 they could move to the number 3 spot.
We sat down and talked to a scientist to stretch out some facts. He mentioned Hook's law and inverse porportionality. Sounds sciency? Well it is. All you need to know about elastic science: it is bad sciency. Unlike cancer or weapons research people aren't healed and big coperations don't make big money. Most elastic are also made of chemical compounds. Elastics are so toxic that eating a pack of regular consumer grade elatics could put you in the hospital for weeks.
We tried to talk to Grand and Toy about this fact but they declined our interview.
What alternatives do you as a comsumer have? Protect yourself! Buy rubber gloves, a mask with an elastic and protective goggles held on by elastics. Keep them in a kit by your bed have drills with your kids, education is key. Consider also some alternatives to elastic bands guns. Real guns have been proven to be 99% more effective in killing targets. Consider a high impact large calliber bullet and riffle combination for best results. Others have suggested tazers but this effect is only mommentary and may only be effective at a close distance.
What does this mean to You! Elastic bands really are a case of buyer beware.
Reporting live Senior Gotcha Investigative Analyst Anchor wanna-be, Tim Baker Fox News.
"Mike Turns 25"
Mike the tyke turns into real Man
Tomorrow Mike will celebrate his 25th birthday. Fox asks the tough questions...When are there too many candles? and how many cup cakes were eaten at his surprise 80's party? Find out and see rediculous pitcures and video footage tomorrow on Fox news.
"Camping up Eagle Mountain"
Escaping Death of mountain
Two men were returned safely after spending night alone on Eagle Mountain. No rescue opperations were initiated although the pair foolishly left on the trail at dark armed only with proper camping supplies and a dead cell phone. Had something gone wrong the pair was over two hours away from Eagle Ridge hosiptal. When they returned home late after deciding to enjoy the sunshine and hike to amazing view of the Lower Mainland no one worried.
What has gotten into the young adults of today?
To answer this we turn to our panel. Dr. Ted Trump from Fox Tech. specialist in fear management; Sally Drumal from MALG (Mothers who Ain't Letting Go); and Yuri Spunatichoff Florida Bingo Analyst and Avid Mall Walker.
Ted?
Ted: Bears, need I say more. BEARS! Nevermind, cougars or grouse these animals will eat you if they get the chance. You shouldn't go in the wild without a properly loaded assult riffle. Bin Ladden was been training terrorist animals and we know it is only a matter of time before he strikes again. We need to put these left wing camping hippies and communist tree lovers behind bars so they don't jepordize our nation's security.
Sally?
Sally: My 28 year old boy stays at home and camps in the living room were he is safe from bugs and the sun. Don't want to see my kid be victim to skin cancer or bears. It takes a little extra effort to make sure the fridge and cupboards are stuffed with addictive junk food. We also spend money on video games and ensuring the TV is large enough to block out the windows but in the end as a parent it is worth it.
I can't understand how parents can let their children grow-up.
Yuri?
Yuri: I don't get. Why kidz go to woodz? Mall close, free and save. Instant coffee on Tuesday when line up before 7am.
There you have it FOX NEWS first.
"Great weather"
with Triple Dopler High Gramma Radiation Coverage
Wow, the summer season is here and temperatures way higher than the winter ones. Better go out and buy an air conditioner so you don't die.
"When air conditioners attack"
Special report. Just where does that box get its cold air. Fox goes undercover in the artic to find out. The results will surprise you. Next week on Fox.
"Sports"
.
Ultimate Season is in full swing but because it is not football or baseball we won't cover it.
Thank for reading tonights special coverage.
Now, stay tuned on Fox for American Elimi-organ. The show that gets testosterone injected men and plastic sexy hot woman with an IQ of a glass of water to sign away their kidneys and eat bugs for a chance at a new life. ($25, a screening for an infomercial and an expired AM-PM corn dog coupon)
Check out these cool Fox links.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,77934,00.html
http://shop.ecompanystore.com/foxnews/FOX_shop.asp
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,95166,00.html
Special fox headlines (no Joke)
• Bear Mauls Monkey at Zoo
Can't Make This Up - Beauty pageant winner gets a year's supply of dog food
Lisa Bernhard - Video Interview: Hollywood Insider — From her days as a "Baywatch Babe" to the thrill of interviewing a Beatle, FNC's entertainment reporter Lisa Bernhard dishes the dirt on the stars AND herself!
War on Rumsfeld Why are retired military generals speaking out now against Rumsfeld?
FOX All-Stars The panel weighs in on the Senate immigration compromise
Al Gore and Global Warming
"GOTCHA "
an investigative report... thud (a metalic thud)
It is little secret that gotcha is the hottest trend of the week among people at Emerge. Its creators dub the slogan "It's a game where you stalk your friends......and shoot them with elastic bands......with as much loving kindness as possible." But what you don't know about rubber bands could hurt you!
Did you know?!? 1 in 3 cows eat elastic bands and they were the number 4 cause of non-fatal injuries not causing serious death in office supply factories in the state of Ohio this week. surprising? Well, Fox news has also learned that many accidents aren't even reported due to their minor severity and we as experts estimate that by the year 2026 they could move to the number 3 spot.
We sat down and talked to a scientist to stretch out some facts. He mentioned Hook's law and inverse porportionality. Sounds sciency? Well it is. All you need to know about elastic science: it is bad sciency. Unlike cancer or weapons research people aren't healed and big coperations don't make big money. Most elastic are also made of chemical compounds. Elastics are so toxic that eating a pack of regular consumer grade elatics could put you in the hospital for weeks.
We tried to talk to Grand and Toy about this fact but they declined our interview.
What alternatives do you as a comsumer have? Protect yourself! Buy rubber gloves, a mask with an elastic and protective goggles held on by elastics. Keep them in a kit by your bed have drills with your kids, education is key. Consider also some alternatives to elastic bands guns. Real guns have been proven to be 99% more effective in killing targets. Consider a high impact large calliber bullet and riffle combination for best results. Others have suggested tazers but this effect is only mommentary and may only be effective at a close distance.
What does this mean to You! Elastic bands really are a case of buyer beware.
Reporting live Senior Gotcha Investigative Analyst Anchor wanna-be, Tim Baker Fox News.
"Mike Turns 25"
Mike the tyke turns into real Man
Tomorrow Mike will celebrate his 25th birthday. Fox asks the tough questions...When are there too many candles? and how many cup cakes were eaten at his surprise 80's party? Find out and see rediculous pitcures and video footage tomorrow on Fox news.
"Camping up Eagle Mountain"
Escaping Death of mountain
Two men were returned safely after spending night alone on Eagle Mountain. No rescue opperations were initiated although the pair foolishly left on the trail at dark armed only with proper camping supplies and a dead cell phone. Had something gone wrong the pair was over two hours away from Eagle Ridge hosiptal. When they returned home late after deciding to enjoy the sunshine and hike to amazing view of the Lower Mainland no one worried.
What has gotten into the young adults of today?
To answer this we turn to our panel. Dr. Ted Trump from Fox Tech. specialist in fear management; Sally Drumal from MALG (Mothers who Ain't Letting Go); and Yuri Spunatichoff Florida Bingo Analyst and Avid Mall Walker.
Ted?
Ted: Bears, need I say more. BEARS! Nevermind, cougars or grouse these animals will eat you if they get the chance. You shouldn't go in the wild without a properly loaded assult riffle. Bin Ladden was been training terrorist animals and we know it is only a matter of time before he strikes again. We need to put these left wing camping hippies and communist tree lovers behind bars so they don't jepordize our nation's security.
Sally?
Sally: My 28 year old boy stays at home and camps in the living room were he is safe from bugs and the sun. Don't want to see my kid be victim to skin cancer or bears. It takes a little extra effort to make sure the fridge and cupboards are stuffed with addictive junk food. We also spend money on video games and ensuring the TV is large enough to block out the windows but in the end as a parent it is worth it.
I can't understand how parents can let their children grow-up.
Yuri?
Yuri: I don't get. Why kidz go to woodz? Mall close, free and save. Instant coffee on Tuesday when line up before 7am.
There you have it FOX NEWS first.
"Great weather"
with Triple Dopler High Gramma Radiation Coverage
Wow, the summer season is here and temperatures way higher than the winter ones. Better go out and buy an air conditioner so you don't die.
"When air conditioners attack"
Special report. Just where does that box get its cold air. Fox goes undercover in the artic to find out. The results will surprise you. Next week on Fox.
"Sports"
.
Ultimate Season is in full swing but because it is not football or baseball we won't cover it.
Thank for reading tonights special coverage.
Now, stay tuned on Fox for American Elimi-organ. The show that gets testosterone injected men and plastic sexy hot woman with an IQ of a glass of water to sign away their kidneys and eat bugs for a chance at a new life. ($25, a screening for an infomercial and an expired AM-PM corn dog coupon)
Check out these cool Fox links.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,77934,00.html
http://shop.ecompanystore.com/foxnews/FOX_shop.asp
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,95166,00.html
Special fox headlines (no Joke)
• Bear Mauls Monkey at Zoo
Can't Make This Up - Beauty pageant winner gets a year's supply of dog food
Lisa Bernhard - Video Interview: Hollywood Insider — From her days as a "Baywatch Babe" to the thrill of interviewing a Beatle, FNC's entertainment reporter Lisa Bernhard dishes the dirt on the stars AND herself!
War on Rumsfeld Why are retired military generals speaking out now against Rumsfeld?
FOX All-Stars The panel weighs in on the Senate immigration compromise
Al Gore and Global Warming
posted by neseirf ekim at 12:01 AM
5 comments
